The biggest irony of being a working creative is hardly having any time (or energy) left over for doing your own art. It's been a monumentally busy year for me, and my first as a "working creative" that wasn't like... I guess being a camgirl still counts as a creative endeavor, and a ux designer, but like, very different than the art that I want to create in my spare time.

I'm working on balancing my time with being productive in the things that absolutely need to be done, but the stress of multiple things that I'm doing means that I often find myself lacking time to just idk, chill out and work on my comic or even doodle for myself.

I often doodle instead in class and stuff, when I'm alone I find myself too overstimulated and tired to actually just draw.

Prologue p.19 - Astarion and Veluthe's Infinite Adventure

You just gotta give yourself grace, they say

I post a lot, because it helps give me a little bit of a record that I am creating - albeit not as deeply or productively as I think I should, bakatako doodles here, shitposts there, a stray comic page done in between train and plane rides for shoots and weddings.

I guess the thing about art, especially if you make more comprehensive stuff like comics, or games, or program, is that it's a lot of keeping pushing. Which I keep telling myself. If you don't have all day to be just an artist, whatever that even means in this day and age where you have to be a full time marketer too even if you're a hobbyist if you wanna make friends - then I have to tell myself just 5 minutes of boxes is enough.

The last half of August was pretty rough and I had a pretty traumatizing experience, but I'm grateful that I at least had some places to share and channel my art.

It helps having friends that are also creatives.

I think, building up friendships can be helpful because it at least acknowledges that the work you do DOES matter and you get something outta it. I love supporting the other creatives, even if I don't know them too intimately.

I always do much better under structure, which is why I got a scholarship to comic school LMAO

IF I CANNOT MAKE THE STRUCTURE I WILL FORCE IT ON MYSELF.

My transits said:

However, my heart said:

I may have a tiny bit of a problem.

I once found a video saying that whenever women of color feel the tiniest big of negative emotional, they seek out another certificate or professional achievement, and like, rude, but true.

Well, at least I have remember what it's all for.

While I was applying for a big thing for [Unnamed secret project] I had some time to review the new dev build for Trueref's website, and it's been a constant project in the background of the many things that have been going on this year but it's going to be out by the end of the year! And I was impressed! I was like, wow, it's come a long way from me frankensteining shit together in figma at 10pm at night on my birthday the day before my professional showcase.

We've come so far! Maybe I'll have time to actually use the products and shoots I've directed so far!

(I know that many of the artists that follow me don't know much about tech, we photobash in UX design too! It's a time honored practice lol)