On the topic of Cuíca.

So, I decided to use this feature for something much less serious, and much more entertaining to me: To talk about my OCs at length, without the constraints of character limits on BlueSky and without having to make a thread for all of my thoughts.

It's also convenient because, should I change literally anything about Cuíca as a character, I can simply find this document and edit it on-the-go. It's simple and easy.

This one will be a long read, so strap in.

Also, no beta, we die and typo like men.

Very well, let's begin.

WHO IS CUÍCA? AND WHY DO YOU CARE SO MUCH?

Cuíca is my original character and one of my flagship characters. I post about him frequently and I think about him every single day. My bedroom is filled with merch I've collected over the past two years, consisting mostly of commissioned work and the occasional work by friends, printed in high-quality photography paper, in order to fully capture his beauty.

Cuíca matters so much to me, not just because he's my creation, but because of the context of when and how he was created. Although I mostly use Cuíca for porn, there's so much hidden meaning to him that's difficult to put into words. This isn't the first time I tried, but this is my attempt at a "definite edition" of this story. In order to do that, we have to go back in time to 2023 and discuss some... Heavier topics. (CW: Death)

THE CONTEXT OF IT ALL

On February 27th 2023, my brother-in-law (let's call him F) passed away. He was 40 years old. When I was born, he was already a fixed presence in my house. I often call him my older brother or godfather, because in many ways, he was. I had never known a life where F wasn't around, and suddenly, not only was he gone, he left behind a wife, two teenaged daughters and a lot of unresolved crap.

I don't think it's an exaggeration to say that, when F passed, my entire life turned upside down. I think anyone who has experienced an untimely/unexpected death can attest as to how traumatic the entire ordeal is for all involved. Among other consequences, we've had to move a few times, help care for a widow and two bereaved teenage girls, finish a home renovation that had been left unfinished, etc.

Thankfully, this all came to pass. As all things do; life adjusts, life continues. It often feels cruel to say so, even now. Nonetheless, it's a statement of fact. Regardless, for the next two years, there was a cloud hanging over my head, troubling and needing an outlet for all of those pent-up feelings that even my excellent therapist at the time couldn't quite touch.

In 2024, around April or so, I joined a community for a closed species called "Minyatas". In short, they were these little... piñata-bunny things, created by Toyhouse artist Cloudsleepyy, known for their other species, the Succubuds (not to be mistaken by Succubuns). Like most things I do in life, I sunk headfirst into the community. I've created many designs, most of which I've since abandoned. But my very first design, and the one that stuck, was this one.

He's looking a little scrungly, then. A little bit too difficult to draw and an animator's worst nightmare. But, he was mine and he was perfect.

I originally intended to name him "Momo", after Rei Momo, the so-called king of Carnaval. But then, I remembered the name of an instrument which, in my head, is synonymous with samba and with Carnaval.

Cuíca. Pronounced: Koo-ee-ka. Or, as I like to put it, Quick-ah.

A percussion drum, also called a "laughing gourd" in some sources I've searched, the sound of which could be compared to a little monkey giggling or a clean dish being rubbed. It's such a odd yet fundamental sound in samba, that it feels odd to me when I don't hear the cuíca make its silly little squeaks in a soundtrack. It's like something's missing—the cherry on the top of a delicious cake, if you will.

Cuíca's concept has always been very centered around Carnaval.

It's no doubt one of, if not the best holiday in the year. Christmas doesn't compare, even for a second. To me, it's not just about the four-day rest (although I appreciate that too, of course!), but also because of the inherent joy of the holiday. There's no way to disconnect Carnaval from its pagan origins as a celebration of life and sex. It's in the name, after all—the feast of the flesh. It's an unapologetic celebration of hedonism and the pleasures of life. And, of course, we cannot forget nor underestimate Carnaval as the safe space for those in the margins of society. One cannot separate Carnaval from blackness and Black culture, first and foremost. Samba would not exist had it not been for the masses of enslaved Black people who were forcibly brought over from Africa, bringing along the musical influences and religious rites which would, centuries later, become "the face" of Brazil. It cannot be separated from queerness either, from feminism and women's liberations, and many other political movements which demand the rights of the poor and the downthrown. At its roots, Carnaval is both celebration and protest; a statement against the "polite society" which gentrifies Carnaval and then repackages it, scrubbing its political meaning.

I don't claim to be a specialist in Carnaval or to know every single samba-enredo, every single composition—nor do I want to! To me, the fact I do not know more is always incentive to learn, to listen, to study more. I will never be a specialist. And, to me, that's the point. It's the fact that there's always something new that makes me fall in love with his holiday year after year.

But I am a Cuíca specialist, of course. I became enamoured with him, to the point I thought, "this isn't a hyperfixation, I'm in it for the long-haul."

As the months passed and as I grew more attached to him, Cuíca grew out of the very simplistic "silly guy who's a homage to Carnaval and likes to party with his friends" storyline I had planned for him, and I decided it wasn't going to be enough to stay in the Closed Species community. I had had a lovely time until then, but he had sadly outgrown it! So, I eventually voided his design (you can still find it in the Succubuds site, I'm sure) and thought— it's time I created something special and unique for him.

Then, I broke up with my then-fiancée. We had been together for seven years at that point.

The reasons for our break-up are numerous, and lengthy. It's a story I've told time and time again, to every single one of my close friends and to my therapists—two of them. It's a very lengthy and painful story that I don't feel entirely comfortable talking about publicly, mostly because I don't want to victimize myself. She hurt me deeply, but so did I hurt her. Neither of us were good partners to each other and our relationship was doomed to fail from the get-go. I was a selfish partner who wouldn't be able to (and, being quite frank, willing to) ever accomodate her needs. I lacked the maturity, self-control and self-awareness that I have today and, most importantly, I lacked kindness and patience. To her, I wish only the best. I hope she's happy in successful in whatever she chooses to do, and that's the end of it.

At the time we broke up, we'd been making a lot of projects together. In a sense, I was left with practically no OCs I could work with. In my head, all of them had been "touched" by her, and so, I required a "clean state"— a complete overhaul of everything I'd been doing up until that moment. And this time, without any creative controls over me. I had a little project I named "Citra Arcana", it had existed way before F passed away, and I thought, "That's my chance."

Enter Cuíca.

A couple of weeks after our break-up, I had made an account on Cara, a portfolio website. Or well, correction: I actually had an account before our break-up, but because I wanted to create as much distance as possible between me and her, I deleted the old one and created a new account, under the name "computerworm". From there, I began to develop "Citra Arcana".

I thought of a magical girl story—I've always liked those. They were practically staples of my childhood, from Winx Club to Sakura Card Captors and, eventually, the PreCure franchise, and even "boy franchises" which are the same exact formula but a different coat of paint, such as Kamen Rider. I've always had a soft spot for little girls saving the world with the power of friendship and poofy skirts, and so, I decided: "Fuck it, let's make Citra Arcana into a magical girl story."

And guess what every single magical girl story needs?

That's right, a talking animal companion. Come on, all of them have those, it's practically a staple of the mahou shoujo genre. Sometimes, they're adorable (Kerberos/Kero from Sakura CardCaptor), sometimes they're terrifying (Kyubei from Madoka Magica), and sometimes, they're Wombat from Cute High Earth Defense Club.

Anyway.

Cuíca was simply too perfect not to include. And so, I created the original story of Citra Arcana. The rest is history. I change ideas more than I change of clothes, so eventually, the story evolved and took the shape of my main story, Aguenta, Coração!—it's called that because of a song I heard on the radio.

But there's another couple of layers to this story. Like an onion, you keep peeling those fuckers and finding more.

Something I'd always wanted to include in my creative process is some reference to my Spiritist (i.e, Spiritualism) upbringing. As I've mentioned before, I'm an antitheist—I detest religion and I do genuinely think they're tools of oppression and control. That being said, a person's religious upbringing is very formative in how they view the world. And, for better or for worse, Spiritualism has a fascinating cosmology which I had always thought would make for good worldbuilding. Seriously, look that shit up!

Much of the deology and mythos of Aguenta, Coração! is taken from Spiritualism, as well as a couple of other religions that have fascinated me from a young age, particularly the JW's (they're freaky) and Afro-Brazilian religions (they draw me in, in a way I cannot explain). The samba connection is, again, inherently linked to Afro-Brazilian religions and cosmology.

Spiritualism is a force to be reckoned with in Brazil and, though far from the most popular religion (those being Catholicism and Evangelicalism), it's still very present in Brazil, to the point there's multiple telenovelas where the cosmology of Spiritualism is explored at length.

Arguably, the most famous of which being A Viagem.

Alexandre Toledo. This fucker is terrifying. Easily one of the strongest villains in all of Brazilian teledramaturgy, as iconic as Nazaré Tedesco or Caminha. He left a strong impact on me and, certainly, on many Brazilians. He also left countless memes. Seriously, I've been this exact image so frequently in Facebook memes growing up, it now resides in this strange space where this image is both creepy because of the context behind it, and also really, really funny, just on the surface level. The face of schadenfreude. I make this exact same face when I see my enemies' downfall.

And so, I thought, "Well, Cuíca needs a human name after all. Why not make a homage to a telenovela I like?" And so, he became Alexandre. Legally, at least—he doesn't quite like his birth name.

Add all of that juicy context, plus healthy doses of kink, mermaids and general tomfoolery, plus a couple of other influences—Monster High and Bratz as fashion influences, the rebirth of Y2K aesthetics etc., and we get...

THE FINAL PRODUCT

A bisexed ravecore/y2k-inspired femboy merperson whose main interest is music and who loves to party with his friends, and is generally a little ball of sunshine. The major part of his story centers around his romantic relationships with the people in his life. It's a good ol' romance story. Who doesn't love those?

Then, there's a major split in how the future plays out: In the good timeline, he is a famed musician and producer who lives happily with his partners and children, which he loves and cares for deeply. In the bad timeline, he dies in his 20's and becomes a wandering spirit, which is eventually captured and trapped in the body of a plush rabbit, so that he may eventually recover his long-lost memories with the help of teenage girls experiencing family issues.

Most of the content you'll ever see of him on my profiles are pictures of his pussy. And honestly? Good for him.

Sometimes, even I don't know how I got here! But frankly, I'm having a good ol' gay time. At the end, that's all that matters.

SOME FINAL TRIVIA FACTS ABOUT CUÍCA...

As a treat, for y'all.

1. Cuíca has a pet rabbit named Slippers.
2. Cuíca's natural B.O/scent profile is very sweet and reminiscent of milk pudding. It becomes stronger when he's in heat. Speaking of which...
3. He's insufferable when he's in heat. He's either crying, humping his pillow or sleeping, because he's too sluggish to do anything else.
4. Cuíca does not have a high-pitched voice. Do not be mistaken.

And I suppose that's about it, for the day. I'm not very good at finishing things, but I suppose this is a start.

I should make one of these for Fortunato, next.

Oh, boy.

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