i'll love whatever kicks me hardest in the mouth

sometimes i think of the love's idea itself, how can something that sounds so heaven-sent be accomplished by mere mortals — human beings if you prefer. and that thought leads me to think of everyone i've ever loved — romantically or not — and how they are still in me somehow. i was listening to the song Nina + Field of Cops, written by cameron winter, and it seems to me that love can be so cruel sometimes. i sure do remember the ones that hurted me, and how i still kind of love them. when cameron goes:

The ugly kidney-needing kitten sees that the empty chair wants somebody.

i undestand that even the pittiest, insignificant little thing knows when you need to be loved. there is a space in your heart that can only be filled by one person alone, and them only. there's no such thing as "be replaced", i don't believe in this bullshit. you are who you are, unique and only you couldn't be replaced even if it was by an exactly clone of you. and for that, my heart will always be open to new people, but that doesn't mean that i'll forget the ones that i loved (and still love) so much.