4:30 am
I wake up and check my phone, hoping for a message that never arrived or a call that never came through. I wash my face and stare for a long time, wondering why can’t he want me back, “is it me?, is it my face, body? did I say something? did I not say the right thing?”, I replay every minute of the few nights together, I can not figure it out.
It seems like a dream or a nightmare, I’m not sure, maybe it’s both, maybe it starts like a dream, where he can love me, where he wants me, where he surrenders before me but once I put my hands on his skin it turns into the nightmare, he wakes up and leaves, and I cry, and I miss him.
I step down the stairs and pretend that everything is ok, I smile and continue my day, or at least I try… he not only took my body, but my mind and my peace.
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