"My magic was simply observing closely and expecting of the children only what they could do."

Although P.E.T., Parent Effectiveness Training, is appropriate for parents of infants and children of all ages, RIE (or Educaring) is another modality that has a special focus on infants and children ages 1-3.

I'm continually moved by Magda Gerber's writings and her respectful attitude toward even the youngest of children. This summer, I took the RIE Foundations course and it was eye-opening. RIE emphasizes freedom of movement, uninterrupted play, and respectful care that promotes a sense of self-confidence right from the beginning.

Although both RIE and P.E.T. emphasize mutually respectful relationships between parents and children, they have a different approach to the concept of discipline. I prefer P.E.T. when it comes to knowing how to navigate the navigate conflict-of-needs situations that can occur between parents (or teachers, with T.E.T.) and children, because P.E.T. has a way of helping you decide if a child's behavior actually is causing you a problem in the first place.

When I first took P.E.T., I was surprised to find that about 80% of the problems I thought were my responsibility actually belonged to the child, or weren't a problem for me at all — I just thought it was my job to try and do something about them. After P.E.T., I found myself with a lot more… well, free time.

I enjoy using P.E.T. because it places so much emphasis on knowing your own feelings and using that to guide your response in any given situation. For the care of very young infants and children, there is nothing quite like RIE, and it's magical in the sense of freedom it can afford both parent and child.