The Dalai Lama demonstrates the "Line of Acceptance" concept

I love this video because it's an excellent example of one of the key concepts we learn in all the Gordon Model classes (Parent Effectiveness Training, Teacher Effectiveness Training, Leader Effectiveness Training, Youth Effectiveness Training, and Be Your Best) – the line of acceptance.

When you experience the behavior of a child, student, or another person (a behavior being something you can take a picture of, or record with a tape recorder – not a label, a judgment, or an interpretation of that behavior, which is applied afterward by your mind) – it's possible to feel one of two ways toward that behavior: Accepting or unaccepting.

The Dalai Lama's description of his possible attitudes toward mosquitoes shows that how you feel – accepting or unaccepting – is influenced by a few different factors. It's not consistent. If you've had a good day, maybe you don't mind the mosquito so much.

But if you've already encountered a mosquito or two, you're less likely to feel accepting.

One of the things that first drew me to Parent Effectiveness Training is that it allows for parents to be human – that is, inconsistent in their feelings and levels of acceptance for different kinds of behavior they experience from their children and from others.

We don't always feel the same from moment to moment, nor do we feel equally accepting of every person in our life. The Gordon Model accounts for that in all relationships. It's flexible and geared toward allowing them to be real in any given moment, whether it's a moment in which you feel patient and accepting, or a moment in which you're ready to swat that mosquito.

The next online P.E.T. class begins on December 5th, 2026! Click here for registration info.

This class runs on Saturdays for eight weeks total.

The next online B.Y.B., Be Your Best class begins on January 8th, 2027, from 12pm - 3pm MST. This class runs on Fridays for ten weeks total.