I’ve been offered a job

I’m super excited. I’m nervous though. I can’t say why I’m nervous, but I’m nervous. I’ve gotta pass two background checks to get the job. It’s with my college, which has a high school attached, and I’ve gotta pass a background check for both. I can’t see a single reason I wouldn’t pass (other than my name change, but like, it’s been over a year all the data-brokers should have my deadname and truename linked together in as one person by now) and I’m still nervous.

I think I’m nervous about the background check as some sort of deferred anxiety. I think what this actually is is that I’m finally going to be doing the thing I’ve been wanting to do for my whole life, but never felt like I was good enough to do. Well, kinda. It’s tangentially related.

My degree is in Software Applications Development. Eventually I am gonna get a minor in psych, and go further into the software engineering field to do what I actually want to do. This job is not a software dev job, it’s an ITS Logistics job. ITS was always my second choice. But I’m realizing that it might actually be the better career for me. It’s got more job security. It’s less mentally taxing. I’m still working with computers and learning to admin professionally(which I’ve done as a hobby for over a decade now). This gives me the freedom, as well, to continue learning software dev and actually be a software developer without being beholden to some application farm or megacorp somewhere. It lets me maintain my ethics.

I hope I get this job. I’ll know in around a month. Wish me luck y’all.